As anyone who has been through it knows, losing a parent or partner is one the most difficult things we ever have to cope with. Arguably, the death of a loved one is the biggest test we face. But there is one thing you can do now to reduce the burden on those you will leave behind — and that’s getting your affairs in order ahead of time. It is, in a very real sense, your last gift to your loved ones.

Some cultures are better at this than we are. The Swedes, for example, have what they call döstädning, which literally translates as “death cleaning”. It basically entails decluttering — not just your physical belongings, but also your personal and financial affairs. And it’s not only designed to benefit your family, but you as well, while you’re still alive. According to Margareta Magnusson, who has written a whole book on the subject, “(döstädning) is about a permanent form of organisation that makes your everyday life run more smoothly.”

Of course, no one likes thinking or talking about death; we Brits are more awkward than most when it comes up in conversation. But, says Matthew Hutton, the author of a book called Your Last Gift: Getting Your Affairs in Order, we need to get better at it. After all, death is the one  certainty there is in life, and none of us knows when the end will come. “Whatever our age or health,” says Hutton, “we need to address these realities now.”

Like Magnusson, Hutton believes, counterintuitively, that the process of thinking about death and getting your affairs in order can actually help you to enjoy life more. “My book,” he says, “is intended to encourage not morbidity, but rather realism. I hope that it can be seen as part of living life to the full.”

So, don’t delay: get on with tidying your life and finances like there’s no tomorrow. Don’t know where to start? Here are eight steps you need to focus on.

 

Make a will

Dying without a will can leave your loved ones with a real headache, as well as, potentially, years of squabbling. Crucially, if you live with someone who is neither your spouse nor civil partner, then however long and stable the relationship is, there is no legal entitlement for the survivor in the absence of a will. So, if you haven’t yet made one, stop putting it off.

 

Arrange Lasting Power of Attorney

The second biggest priority after making a will, says Matthew Hutton, is organising Lasting Power of Attorney. “Mental incapacity, specifically dementia, is a sad fact of life for many people,” he writes in Your Last Gift. “Even physical incapacity of some sort can severely hamper your ability to do things as easily as before… I strongly recommend making an LPA for both property and financial affairs and for health and welfare.”

 

Plan your funeral

Leaving specific instructions for your funeral can take a great deal of strain off your family in the immediate aftermath of your death. Funeral costs can be very substantial, so you may want to leave money aside specifically for this; but be wary of signing up to a funeral plan as many offer very poor value. At the very least, specify whether you want to be buried or cremated, where you would like the funeral to be held, and who you would like to officiate. You could also choose the hymns or perhaps poems or other readings you would like to be included in the service.

 

Leave details of your financial policies

Put all your important financial information in one place — preferably a file on your computer — and, whatever you do, make sure your loved ones know the password, and indeed any other passwords they might need. This file should contain contact details for your financial planner, as well as policy numbers for any pensions, investment policies, savings accounts and insurance policies you may have.

 

Clear out any unwanted items

Clearing out a parent’s home after they have died can be a challenging and emotionally draining task. You will do your children a huge favour by getting rid of any items they won’t thank you for leaving them. Ask yourself: Is this item useful? And does it give me joy? If you can’t answer Yes to at least one of those questions you probably should dispose of it. “Start with the large items in your home, and finish with the small,” Margareta Magnusson suggests. “I often ask myself, Will anyone I know be happier if I save this?”

 

Make an inventory of your possessions

In Your Last Gift, Hutton recommends drawing up an inventory of all the valuable items you’ll be leaving behind. Primarily, of course, this will include your house and any other property you own, as well as your car and any other vehicles. Keep your keys in a safe place and properly labelled. Also think about jewellery and other items of monetary value, as well as family heirlooms and photographs. Where appropriate you may want to specify who you would like to receive each item.

 

Identify the most important people in your life

So, you’ve identified your most important possessions, but a much more crucial task, says Hutton, is to work out who are the most important people in your life. Make a list of them, including phone numbers, so they can be contacted personally when you die instead of having to hear the news from someone else. Contact friends you haven’t been in touch with for years; write them a letter or, better still, arrange to see them. Last, but by no means least, resolve to spend as much time as you can with the people who really matter.

 

Make a bucket list

One of the advantages of thinking about our death is that it focuses attention on how little time we have to do the things we want to do. “It is never too late to do anything,” writes Magnusson, “unless it is really too late and you are dead. The moment you start thinking it is too late, then you begin to die.” Hutton writes: “I have on my bookshelf A Thousand Places to See before You Die, by Patricia Schultz. The vast majority of these places I would yet like to visit I won’t manage. However, I have found it quite fun to check the book before taking a foreign holiday.”

 

What about YOUR last gift?

So there you have it: eight things you can do now as part of your last gift to your loved ones. What’s stopping you from getting on with them?

Remember, you don’t need to do everything all at once. Just make a start and resolve to keep chipping away at it until it’s done. 

By all means, seek the help of others. We especially recommend using a financial planner — to help you not just get your financial affairs in order but also work out what you want to do with the rest of your life. 

Ultimately, though, it’s your responsibility to ensure that your final gift to your loved ones actually gets delivered.

As Margareta Magnusson puts it: “Do not ever imagine that anyone will wish, or be able, to schedule time off to take care of what you didn’t bother to take care of yourself. No matter how much they love you, don’t leave this burden to them.”

 

CAN WE HELP?

If you’re looking for a financial planner, why not get in touch?

We’re based in Brighton and serve clients across the South-East of England. 

If we can’t help you, or feel you would be better speaking to someone else, we will be happy to point you in the right direction.

 

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